emotional break down

something happened dis week, something dat affect my marriage. still thanked to Allah 4 testing me. however, i was always sad tru' dis week. i can forgive but it's hard 2 forget..

mayb both of us doing mistake, n dat's y it happened.. n my pregnancy making me super sensitive.. thinking i can't b a good wife, a good mama..

nadira's also not being good dis month. she didn't like d new nanny, but dat's d only choice i had now. n she's having bad cough tru' week..

i really need a great support now.. sometimes hubby's there n sometimes not.. mayb he cared, but no action taken. dat makes me sad. mayb he taught i'm able 2 face it alone..

also getting emotionally weaker day by day.. try to stand but keep on thinking negatively 4 what will happen in d future.. as i'm 5 months pregnant now.. afraid dat d baby will makes things harder. harder 4 me 2 b a good mom n wife. some ppl easily done it, but 4 me it's getting stressful sometimes.

no news 'bout d new home.. as i'm excited 2 start d furniture hunting.. really wish we can move by dis yr.. d hse we'r staying now is really uncomfortable.. hardly 2 get d fresh air, hardly drying d laundry, dust keep on entering d hse, d bad air-cond.. i'm not fussy, but i really dun like d environment..

n getting headache when thinking 4 d nanny next yr as i'm having 2 children dat time. surely d cleaning, d parenting r getting harder. financial? hopefully ok since d government is raising their servant salary..alhamdulillah, at lis 1 problem solve..

hopefully my next entry will b a happy 1.. i really miz'd being d old me.. not stressful as now..

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